I am raising 2 teenagers as well as a toddler and a newborn. My teenagers are really good kids overall. Sure, they could bring home better grades....or better friends....but overall they've been fun.
My oldest daughter, Brenna, is 16 years old and my oldest son is Tony, age 15. Their biological father is no longer involved in their lives, but I am married to a man who considers them his own. They've both had their share of problems and my son was diagnosed as having Bipolar Depression (currently well controlled).
Yesterday, my son had a blow up....at ME! A completely disrespectful, in my face, blow up. My first reaction was to wring his neck, which I did not. My second reaction was hurt, which stuck. I have had this child's back since he was born. All through the horrible toddler years when he was mean as a snake, preadolescence when he drove everybody else crazy....Mom was always there. Did I screw up?
I haven't spoken to him about it since. He can come apologize to me.....he owes it to me. But, I'm not sure if he will. My husband had to take him back to school for some forgotten homework and he discussed it with him on the way. He told Tony that he just couldn't believe that he had walked out the door and not said anything to his mom. My son's reaction was this: we should have known it was coming sooner or later. WHAT??? And, of course, that's what my husband asked. Tony responded by saying that these times were different and all teens mouth off to their parents. Some of them even hit their parents. It's just the changing times, he said. WHAT??? I think not! Not in my house!
But, it got me thinking.
I have a myspace page so that I can keep up with my kids and kind of have an insight as to what is going on. This morning, over coffee, I took a good look at their friends. Not their good friends, because I already know them....but all of those other hundreds of kids. My conclusion was, that I just don't get it....
Why on earth, at the age of 15, would you take a picture of yourself with a court-ordered ankle bracelet on????
Why would you publicize to the world, at the age of 16, that you have a probation officer???
Why would you publicly post pictures of yourself, as a teenager, smoking marijuana (or anything else for that matter) or drinking alcohol. Or have bottles of alcohol or condoms as the background for your whole page?
Do they speak english? What is it with all the numbers in place of letters? Do they really think that us parents are sooooo stupid that we can't figure that out?
It seems like their vocabulary (which consists of 50 words/ 48 of them are curse words) doesn't follow anything I've ever seen before. They publicly display these quizzes and tell the world how many people they've slept with, how many times they've been drunk, how many teachers they've cussed out or hit, and their suspensions and expulsions from school are like notches on their belts. That's if they are even still in school. Or allowed on the property...which several were not.
I just don't get it. I didn't raise my children like that, nor do I have much respect for those who do. I looked at my own kids profiles and honestly, they didn't look much better. They don't curse in my home....but boy oh boy! I know where my children are all the time. I know who they are with and SOME of what they are doing. They don't run the streets, and neither of them drive yet. They still attend family functions, do chores around the house, and don't leave without permission. Yet, I have met some kids whose parents call to find out if I have seen them after they've been at my house for 4 days. Excuse my language, but what the hell!!!!
I just don't get it. How on earth is this world going to make it with teenagers (our next generation of adults) being raised as gangsters, thugs, and hoochies. Oh yeah, and if I hear or see the phrase "baby daddy" one more time today...I think I'm gonna scream. I say that because one of the girls on my daughter's friend list has this as her tagline: "I can't w8 until my baby daddy gets out of jail and sees his son". COME ON NOW.
Anyway, any comments or suggestions how to raise teenagers in a world where most of them are raising themselves would be appreciated. Until then, I just won't get it....
I did find the following article very refreshing. Give it a read. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080109/ap_on_fe_st/odd_car_ad
